As I write this Riley is sleeping right in front of me and I have to say that she is seriously the most beautiful child I have ever seen, don't tell Ayden. She has grown up to be a little girl full of personality and even though she can't talk still she has no problem letting you know just exactly what it is she thinks. She is a part of our family that I could never imagine being with out or to be honest with you imagine her being any other way.
I have learned more about myself and God through this season of my life than through anything else I have ever experienced. I never thought that a 3 year old special needs child would teach me so much about the love of our heavenly father and my own heart. However, God continues to use her to take me to places of continued wrestling, but it is beautiful....Let me explain:
A few weeks ago at church we were having a prayer night and there was a pastor that was leading a prayer for healing. In his prayers for healing he kept saying a phrase over and over which was, "God can heal and He will, He can and He will." Well I absolutely believe that God can heal and I know that it is His will for all to be healed, but other than that I don't understand healing. So, I found my self getting very frustrated in this moment and by frustrated I mean angry, but here is the amazing thing about God. In the midst of my frustration and anger a friend walked up to me where I was standing in this service and said, "God wants me to tell you something." Now I have been in ministry long enough to be very weary of what usually follows next, but this friend looked at me and said, "God wants you to know that He is going to heal your daughter, but it is going to be in His time and not yours." My friend then just grabbed me hugged me and cried with me. As he walked off Pastor James Price walked up to me and said, "God wants me to tell you something." Once again I was very weary ( I mean have you met James jk) Anyways James looked at me and said, "Do you remember the story of the paralytic on the mat?" Yes, I replied Then James looked at me and said, "When did God heal him?" and I said "in His time." Then James said, "God wants you to know that He is going to heal Riley, but it is going to be in His time and not yours." I lost it.........
I did not lose it at the thought of Riley being healed, but at the fact that in the midst of my anger/frustration God met me there. It just reminded me once again how much he loves me and that even in my anger He is there comforting me and holding me.
Through Riley I have learned more about Jesus than through anything else and for that I am thankful and blessed
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